Why she thought it was a good idea to kick snow in a cat's face, I do not know:

I love how even the dog's all, "Screw that, I'm going inside." And the cat responds, "That's right, Fido. RUN AWAY YOU STINKY DOG OR I'LL MESS YOU UP."
...and here's the result:

You're welcome.

Don't forget the Perseids tonight!

This new xkcd series is frakkin' awesome, updated each Thursday. It's speculative-nonfiction humor writing, leaning heavily toward the Hard SF end of the spectrum.

First up: "What would happen if you tried to hit a baseball pitched at 90% the speed of light?" Here's a hint:

Click the image to see the first installment of xkcd's "What if?"

Things don't get better from there. Or they get AWESOME, if you're a physics nerd.

WHO WANTS TO BE MY MUTHAF*%$IN' LITERARY ENEMY? Let's do it like the writer-heroes of old.

Click the badass photo of Ernest Hemingway to see the Terrible Minds article.

And who has a suggestion about I can most appropriately rock-star myself? I ain't afraid of THE MAN.

(Hilarious article, by the way. I feel a book-burning coming on...)

mckitterick: Yes, this is one of my actual scooter helmets. RESPECT THE EMPIRE. (President Obama)
( Apr. 28th, 2011 11:45 am)
Didn't you just know it?

Of course, we all know that was mocked-up. Because he WASN'T EVEN BORN ON EARTH, MOFOS! CHECK OUT THIS UN-RETOUCHED PHOTO!

Click the image to see a silly page of stuff about Obama.

Everyone knows he arrived on Earth in 1972 aboard the triangle-shaped UFO that landed at White Sands... and was covered up by the government. 'Nuff said.

This charmed me to bits. It's a reaction to Florida House Speaker Dean Cannon's freaking out about Rep Scott Randolph using the word "uterus" in debate. Enjoy!

Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] joe_haldeman for the tip.


Click the image to see Cracked's Image Macro thread.

That is all. I now return you to your regularly scheduled work. Unless you go visit Cracked's Image Macro thread, of course. Then you're doomed.

Here's an insightful and hilarious essay on faith, atheism, and being a good person from the award-winning British comedy star. A wonderful curative for the Christmas season (archived here to avoid annoying-as-hell animated flipping story thing while reading):

Ricky Gervais is the writer and star of HBO’s “Ricky Gervais Out of England 2: The Stand-Up Special.” To go to his website click here.

Why don’t you believe in God? I get that question all the time. I always try to give a sensitive, reasoned answer. This is usually awkward, time consuming and pointless. People who believe in God don’t need proof of his existence, and they certainly don’t want evidence to the contrary. They are happy with their belief. They even say things like “it’s true to me” and “it’s faith.” I still give my logical answer because I feel that not being honest would be patronizing and impolite. It is ironic therefore that “I don’t believe in God because there is absolutely no scientific evidence for his existence and from what I’ve heard the very definition is a logical impossibility in this known universe,” comes across as both patronizing and impolite.

[UPDATE: For more from Gervais, go to Does God Exist? Ricky Gervais Takes Your Questions.]

Arrogance is another accusation. Which seems particularly unfair. Science seeks the truth. And it does not discriminate. For better or worse it finds things out. Science is humble. It knows what it knows and it knows what it doesn’t know. It bases its conclusions and beliefs on hard evidence -­ evidence that is constantly updated and upgraded. It doesn’t get offended when new facts come along. It embraces the body of knowledge. It doesn’t hold on to medieval practices because they are tradition. If it did, you wouldn’t get a shot of penicillin, you’d pop a leach down your trousers and pray. Whatever you “believe,” this is not as effective as medicine. Again you can say, “It works for me,” but so do placebos. My point being, I’m saying God doesn’t exist. I’m not saying faith doesn’t exist. I know faith exists. I see it all the time. But believing in something doesn’t make it true. Hoping that something is true doesn’t make it true. The existence of God is not subjective. He either exists or he doesn’t. It’s not a matter of opinion. You can have your own opinions. But you can’t have your own facts.

Why don’t I believe in God? No, no no, why do YOU believe in God? Surely the burden of proof is on the believer. You started all this. If I came up to you and said, “Why don’t you believe I can fly?” You’d say, “Why would I?” I’d reply, “Because it’s a matter of faith.” If I then said, “Prove I can’t fly. Prove I can’t fly see, see, you can’t prove it can you?” You’d probably either walk away, call security or throw me out of the window and shout, ‘’F—ing fly then you lunatic.”

This, is of course a spirituality issue, religion is a different matter. As an atheist, I see nothing “wrong” in believing in a god. I don’t think there is a god, but belief in him does no harm. If it helps you in any way, then that’s fine with me. It’s when belief starts infringing on other people’s rights when it worries me. I would never deny your right to believe in a god. I would just rather you didn’t kill people who believe in a different god, say. Or stone someone to death because your rulebook says their sexuality is immoral. It’s strange that anyone who believes that an all-powerful all-knowing, omniscient power responsible for everything that happens, would also want to judge and punish people for what they are. From what I can gather, pretty much the worst type of person you can be is an atheist. The first four commandments hammer this point home. There is a god, I’m him, no one else is, you’re not as good and don’t forget it. (Don’t murder anyone, doesn’t get a mention till number 6.)

When confronted with anyone who holds my lack of religious faith in such contempt, I say, “It’s the way God made me.”

But what are atheists really being accused of?

The dictionary definition of God is “a supernatural creator and overseer of the universe.” Included in this definition are all deities, goddesses and supernatural beings. Since the beginning of recorded history, which is defined by the invention of writing by the Sumerians around 6,000 years ago, historians have cataloged over 3700 supernatural beings, of which 2870 can be considered deities.

So next time someone tells me they believe in God, I’ll say “Oh which one? Zeus? Hades? Jupiter? Mars? Odin? Thor? Krishna? Vishnu? Ra?...” If they say “Just God. I only believe in the one God,” I’ll point out that they are nearly as atheistic as me. I don’t believe in 2870 gods, and they don’t believe in 2869.

I used to believe in God. The Christian one that is.

I loved Jesus. He was my hero. More than pop stars. More than footballers. More than God. God was by definition omnipotent and perfect. Jesus was a man. He had to work at it. He had temptation but defeated sin. He had integrity and courage. But He was my hero because He was kind. And He was kind to everyone. He didn’t bow to peer pressure or tyranny or cruelty. He didn’t care who you were. He loved you. What a guy. I wanted to be just like Him.

One day when I was about 8 years old, I was drawing the crucifixion as part of my Bible studies homework. I loved art too. And nature. I loved how God made all the animals. They were also perfect. Unconditionally beautiful. It was an amazing world.

I lived in a very poor, working-class estate in an urban sprawl called Reading, about 40 miles west of London. My father was a laborer and my mother was a housewife. I was never ashamed of poverty. It was almost noble. Also, everyone I knew was in the same situation, and I had everything I needed. School was free. My clothes were cheap and always clean and ironed. And mum was always cooking. She was cooking the day I was drawing on the cross.

I was sitting at the kitchen table when my brother came home. He was 11 years older than me, so he would have been 19. He was as smart as anyone I knew, but he was too cheeky. He would answer back and get into trouble. I was a good boy. I went to church and believed in God -– what a relief for a working-class mother. You see, growing up where I did, mums didn’t hope as high as their kids growing up to be doctors; they just hoped their kids didn’t go to jail. So bring them up believing in God and they’ll be good and law abiding. It’s a perfect system. Well, nearly. 75 percent of Americans are God-­‐fearing Christians; 75 percent of prisoners are God-­‐fearing Christians. 10 percent of Americans are atheists; 0.2 percent of prisoners are atheists.

But anyway, there I was happily drawing my hero when my big brother Bob asked, “Why do you believe in God?” Just a simple question. But my mum panicked. “Bob,” she said in a tone that I knew meant, “Shut up.” Why was that a bad thing to ask? If there was a God and my faith was strong it didn’t matter what people said.

Oh…hang on. There is no God. He knows it, and she knows it deep down. It was as simple as that. I started thinking about it and asking more questions, and within an hour, I was an atheist.

Wow. No God. If mum had lied to me about God, had she also lied to me about Santa? Yes, of course, but who cares? The gifts kept coming. And so did the gifts of my new found atheism. The gifts of truth, science, nature. The real beauty of this world. I learned of evolution - a theory so simple that only England’s greatest genius could have come up with it. Evolution of plants, animals and us - with imagination, free will, love, humor. I no longer needed a reason for my existence, just a reason to live. And imagination, free will, love, humor, fun, music, sports, beer and pizza are all good enough reasons for living.

But living an honest life - for that you need the truth. That’s the other thing I learned that day, that the truth, however shocking or uncomfortable, in the end leads to liberation and dignity.

So what does the question “Why don’t you believe in God?” really mean. I think when someone asks that they are really questioning their own belief. In a way they are asking “what makes you so special? “How come you weren’t brainwashed with the rest of us?” “How dare you say I’m a fool and I’m not going to heaven, f— you!” Let’s be honest, if one person believed in God he would be considered pretty strange. But because it’s a very popular view it’s accepted. And why is it such a popular view? That’s obvious. It’s an attractive proposition. Believe in me and live forever. Again if it was just a case of spirituality this would be fine.

“Do unto others...” is a good rule of thumb. I live by that. Forgiveness is probably the greatest virtue there is. But that’s exactly what it is - a virtue. Not just a Christian virtue. No one owns being good. I’m good. I just don’t believe I’ll be rewarded for it in heaven. My reward is here and now. It’s knowing that I try to do the right thing. That I lived a good life. And that’s where spirituality really lost its way. When it became a stick to beat people with. “Do this or you’ll burn in hell.”

You won’t burn in hell. But be nice anyway.

A lovely sentiment for this particular god's officially recognized holiday! Thanks, Ricky Gervais. You're awesome!

Here's wishing that Zeus, or whatever other god(s) you worship/ pray to/perform ritual sacrifices for/fear/love/whatever smile upon you/smite your enemies/provide you with magical powers/or so forth for this official 3-day weekend!

Full disclosure: I consider myself an Anti-Religionist Agnostic Deist who believes that the entire universe and everything within it - stars, planets, single-cell organisms, sentient beings - are "god," and that we all have a responsibility to seek to understand the greater thing we are all a part of, to do our best not to fuck it up, and to improve everything about it - including ourselves! - in every way we can.

Hilarious AND a good pop song:

Soon to become a standard at every con dance (right before "Let's Do the Time Warp Again!").

Perhaps you heard that a 62-foot-tall and 40-foot-wide statue of "Touchdown Jesus" was struck by lightning and burned to the ground on Tuesday, leaving only a blackened steel skeleton and chunks of smoldering foam.

Before Wrathful Lightning Strike:

After Wrathful Lightning Strike:

Click the images to see the story.

The church has announced plans to rebuild a bigger, better, fireproof Jesus statue by year's end. Um, folks, weren't you listening the first time? Now you're really asking for it.

Let me point you to a related story:

In 2003, actor Jim "Torture-Porn Jesus" Caviezel was struck by lightning - TWICE - during the filming of Mel Gibson's film, The Passion of the Christ. My favorite quote, from producer Steve McEveety: "I'm about 100 feet away from them when I glance over and see smoke coming out of Caviezel's ears."

Let this be a lesson, idolaters! The Big Guy is watching!

Click the image to see the UWEC lightning project.

In other news, early this morning I sent off the finished, edited, outta-my-hands copy of my novel, Transcendence, to my publisher, [livejournal.com profile] ericreynolds of Hadley Rille Books.

*Happy Dance of Done-Ness*

Breaking news! In honor of Topeka changing its name to "Google" last month, Google is changing its name to "Topeka."

Click the image to see the story.

If it's on teh intarwebs, it must be true.

Do you know the Jeeves & Wooster stories by P.G. Wodehouse? Are you a Batman fan? If so, you absolutely must read this little story by MightyGodKing. OMG. I am *ded* from wanting to see this:

Click the image to see "Batman For the Ages: Where the Dark Knight Should Time Travel."

Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] james_nicoll for the tip. Enjoy!
mckitterick: Yes, this is one of my actual scooter helmets. RESPECT THE EMPIRE. (evil-Tatsuko)
( Feb. 20th, 2010 01:51 am)
Does it make me a bad person that I am inspired by this?

Click the image to see the XKCD website.

*goes to find stuff to sell on eBay*

(I just feel sorry for the bobcat.)

mckitterick: Yes, this is one of my actual scooter helmets. RESPECT THE EMPIRE. (Spaceman Spiff damaged spacecraft)
( Jan. 14th, 2010 12:34 am)
There you sit: It's not quite midnight. Not tired enough to go to sleep. You spent 12 hours today working on class websites, syllabi, job descriptions, and so forth. The computer monitor glows warm before you, beckoning you to explore the interwebs just a little bit further. Say, what's this...?

You stumble upon a site filled with wondrous images and stories of a world gone mad. You start to snicker, then to laugh out loud. You are reminded that the absurd joy of a Dadaistic landscape surrounds us. Life is good. Now you can go to bed.

I've found my new favorite late-night website: Oddly Specific. For example:

Click the image to see more treasures such as this. Be sure to catch up on Stickman's Saga.


Lots more where this came from.


Click the image to see the post.

(Actually, I would argue that this is a WIN, not a fail, but then I'm a weirdo.)
WARNING: The Surgeon General has determined that the following video will make you *ded* from teh cute:

Sure, everyone's posting this. But, OMG, you can't watch it too often.

EDIT: Yup, after 1431 viewings since last night, still the cutest video EVER.

My new favorite Halloween pumpkin ever. Spend a few moments on it for full effect:

Photo courtesy Chernobylred photos.

This beast stalks this nice college-town neighborhood, photographed here in the front yard of a sweet KU-faculty's family. I dare not imagine what happened to them....


Almost two months after the "historic" anniversary of the "Moon landing," Neil Armstrong sees the truth.

Click the image to see the story.

Thank you, Onion News, for showing us the folly of our dreams. Geez, humans can't live in space! Science is dumb. Let's cancel NASA and teach the kids about Intelligent Design! Hooray!

mckitterick: Yes, this is one of my actual scooter helmets. RESPECT THE EMPIRE. (robot-heart)
( Jan. 8th, 2009 03:14 pm)
Best. Amazon review. Ever.

Follow the link quickly before the review disappears. It's for this book:

Click the image to see the book.

Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] ellen_datlow for the tip.

Enjoy the secret!


mckitterick: Yes, this is one of my actual scooter helmets. RESPECT THE EMPIRE. (Default)


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