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A new twist on the deposed-African-dictator email-scam, bringing it up to date for Americans. Shades of the movie, "Three Kings":
Dear Friend, I am Captain Brain [yes, BRAIN, as in the zombie mantra; you may note that this is unedited] James of the US Marine Force on Monitoring and Peace–keeping mission in Baghdad-Iraq. On the 26th day of September 2006, we were alerted on the sudden presence of some Terrorists camping in a suburb not too far from Karbala here in Iraq. After Immediate intervention, we captured three (3) of the Terrorists, twenty-six (26) were killed leaving seven (7) injured. In the process of torture they confessed being rebels for late Ayman al-Zawahiri and took us to a cave in Karbala which served as their camp. Here we recovered several guns, bombs and other Ammunitions including some boxes among which two contains nuclear weapons [hey, look: They found WMDs! I'm beginning to suspect the real point of this spam is Neo-con propaganda], one filled with hard drugs(cocaine) and the other four to my amazement contain some US Dollars amounting to $7.2M after I and two of my junior intelligent officers counted them. I however instructed them to keep this in high secrecy. I am in keen need of a “Reliable and Trustworthy” person like you who would receive, secure and protect these boxes containing the US Dollars for me up on till my assignment elapses in here in Iraq. I assure and promise to give you 14% of this fund, however feel free to negotiate what you wish to have as your percentage in this business.. Please assure me of your keeping this topmost secret to protect my job with the US Monitoring and Peace-Keeping mission. Contact me through my personal email. Sincere regards, Capt.Brain James.
Heh. Brains.
Dear Friend, I am Captain Brain [yes, BRAIN, as in the zombie mantra; you may note that this is unedited] James of the US Marine Force on Monitoring and Peace–keeping mission in Baghdad-Iraq. On the 26th day of September 2006, we were alerted on the sudden presence of some Terrorists camping in a suburb not too far from Karbala here in Iraq. After Immediate intervention, we captured three (3) of the Terrorists, twenty-six (26) were killed leaving seven (7) injured. In the process of torture they confessed being rebels for late Ayman al-Zawahiri and took us to a cave in Karbala which served as their camp. Here we recovered several guns, bombs and other Ammunitions including some boxes among which two contains nuclear weapons [hey, look: They found WMDs! I'm beginning to suspect the real point of this spam is Neo-con propaganda], one filled with hard drugs(cocaine) and the other four to my amazement contain some US Dollars amounting to $7.2M after I and two of my junior intelligent officers counted them. I however instructed them to keep this in high secrecy. I am in keen need of a “Reliable and Trustworthy” person like you who would receive, secure and protect these boxes containing the US Dollars for me up on till my assignment elapses in here in Iraq. I assure and promise to give you 14% of this fund, however feel free to negotiate what you wish to have as your percentage in this business.. Please assure me of your keeping this topmost secret to protect my job with the US Monitoring and Peace-Keeping mission. Contact me through my personal email. Sincere regards, Capt.Brain James.
Heh. Brains.
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From: (Anonymous)
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So not someone *actually* reliable and trustworthy, from this use of ironic quotations. ;)
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I also like the reference to torture, because that just makes me want to him him that much more.
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him him? I am not familar with the verb, and is the past tense hum?
S
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Who talks like this? If you're going to give me a million dollars just say so. I guess 14% sounds like more if you are reality challenged (certainly the target audience of the e-mail).
S
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I think maybe my preferences are somehow set so the computer replaces misspelled words with correctly spelled (but wrong) words.
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(Which reminds me: I wonder when that African dictator is going to collect his remaining 84% of the $12.7 he deposited into my account... and Bush was gonna send me the full rundown of all the WMDs he personally found in Iraq.)
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By the way, is a "himmer" like a "hummer"? Hm!
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You should ask for like, 40%, because how many people out there are as "Reliable and Trustworthy" as you, as a previously unknown random person? Unless, of course, you've long been a friend of Brain, as I've been since high school. We affectionately termed him the "brain" of our football team. Ha-ha!
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[One word for you: honey. You don't even know the number of pet names I came up with in those moments and KEPT TO MYSELF (for the good of all involved :) )]
I hope that teaching went well, despite sleepiness!
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But I guess once you join up, you no longer have any family or friends to help you with smuggling money.
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Yes, the teachin' was good - nothing like having to perform to make one perform well.
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