I'm ROFL right now, but quietly... lil' Chloe - asleep behind me in her little house - just made some kind of grumble that sounds like a cross between a snore and growl.
I can imagine a field of fierce hamsters. Walking into this biological minefield would be akin to swimming a river infested with pirhanas, I suspect:
A few steps past their border, you might notice the wee burrows. Soon, you begin to hear tiny scrabbling noises, perhaps see a twitching whisker or two behind cute pink noses. Perhaps you notice a few scattered bones, but the scavengers and dogs usually carry those off. Then, suddenly, thousands of growling hamsters erupt from the earth, some springing knee-high.
The carnage is gruesome: They swarm up your legs like fur boots and devour the meat of your calves in mere seconds. You collapse to the ground. Then, within minutes, you are nothing but polished bones, your hollow eye sockets staring up at the fine mist of fur as it settles upon you.
Silence falls across the plains. All that remains besides your gnawed bones are tiny footprints.
A tumbleweed blows in from the west, gently erasing their tracks.
So now you bring up the Ferret/Hamster Issue. Don't you know that their millennia-long conflict has wrought nothing but horror upon the face of the earth, horror? But you are a partisan Ferretite, aren't you? Shoulda known.
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Only the fierce ones!
S
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The Tale of the Fierce Hamster Town
I can imagine a field of fierce hamsters. Walking into this biological minefield would be akin to swimming a river infested with pirhanas, I suspect:
A few steps past their border, you might notice the wee burrows. Soon, you begin to hear tiny scrabbling noises, perhaps see a twitching whisker or two behind cute pink noses. Perhaps you notice a few scattered bones, but the scavengers and dogs usually carry those off. Then, suddenly, thousands of growling hamsters erupt from the earth, some springing knee-high.
The carnage is gruesome: They swarm up your legs like fur boots and devour the meat of your calves in mere seconds. You collapse to the ground. Then, within minutes, you are nothing but polished bones, your hollow eye sockets staring up at the fine mist of fur as it settles upon you.
Silence falls across the plains. All that remains besides your gnawed bones are tiny footprints.
A tumbleweed blows in from the west, gently erasing their tracks.
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Re: The Tale of the Fierce Hamster Town
If the black-footed ferrets hadn't been driven nearly to extinction, we wouldn't have this prairie hamster problem. I'm just sayin'.
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So now you bring up the Ferret/Hamster Issue. Don't you know that their millennia-long conflict has wrought nothing but horror upon the face of the earth, horror? But you are a partisan Ferretite, aren't you? Shoulda known.
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Re: The Tale of the Fierce Hamster Town
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BTW, I'm going dancing with La Belle Gothique tonight, so phone call will probably be brief.
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Have fun!
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