God, this is beautiful. (And ugly. And heart-rending.)

I don't often have such a strong reaction to an essay. We read essays like this because they're emotionally true; we read this kind of writing and poetry and fiction, we listen to music that does this for us and watch movies that touch on truths we know inside because what the words express is so true for us. It's as if finally - at last! - someone understands well enough to speak for us honestly and with perfect clarity. It's as if our minds touch just for a moment. Being understood and hearing our inner truths expressed so well is cathartic. We are never the same again after veils of misunderstanding are pulled aside; when we look inside without filters or walls, we become someone different; after facing the truth about ourselves, ironically we are never the same.

This essay describes concisely and lucidly how it felt to grow up Gen X American. And this phrase nails exactly about how it felt to hear Obama accept the Presidency:

when we watched Barack Obama's victory speech on Tuesday night, we looked into the eyes of a real leader, and decades of cynicism about politics and grass-roots movements and community melted away in a single moment.

For my entire life, I've had to knuckle under to conservatives (yes, I count Bill Clinton as such); for the students I teach, it must have been so much worse to have mostly only known the fucking tragedy that was the Bush dynasty. Though I have vague memories of Jimmy Carter, I've never felt someone represented me in the White House. Seeing Obama accepting the Presidency... I just wept for joy. And now I'm wet-cheeked all over again. Here, read it:

An open apology to boomers everywhere:


Your earnest, self-important prattle has gotten on Gen X nerves for decades. But now we finally get it.

By Heather Havrilesky

Dear boomers: We're sorry for rolling our eyes at you all these years. We apologize for scoffing at your earnestness, your lack of self-deprecation, your tendency to take yourselves a little too seriously. We can go ahead and admit now that we grew tired of hearing about the '60s and the peace movement, as if you had to live through those times to understand anything at all. It's true, we didn't completely partake of your idealism and your notions about community. Frankly, it looked gray and saggy in your hands, these many decades later. Chanting "What do we want? Peace! When do we want it? Now!" at that rally against the Iraq war made us feel self-conscious in spite of ourselves. We felt like clichés. We wondered why someone couldn't come up with a newer, catchier, pro-peace slogan over the course of 40 years of protests. We knew we shouldn't care that some of you were wearing socks with sandals and smelled like you'd been on the bus with Wavy Gravy for the last three decades, but we cared anyway. We couldn't help it. It's just who we are.

And look, we really did stand for something, underneath all the eye-rolling. We're feminists, we care about the environment, we want to improve race relations, we volunteer. We're just low-key about it. We never wanted to do it the way you did it: So unselfconscious, so optimistic, guilelessly throwing yourself behind Team Liberal. We didn't get that. We aren't joiners. We don't like carrying signs. We tend to disagree, if only on principle.

But when we watched Barack Obama's victory speech on Tuesday night, we looked into the eyes of a real leader, and decades of cynicism about politics and grass-roots movements and community melted away in a single moment. We heard the voice of a man who can inspire with his words, who's unashamed of his own intelligence, who's willing to treat the citizens of this country like smart, capable people, worthy of respect. For the first time in some of our lifetimes, we believed.

Suddenly it makes sense, what you've been trying to tell us about John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King Jr. Sure, we knew all about their roles in history, we'd learned about them in a million classes, through countless books and documentaries. Eventually, though, the endless memorials and tributes and TV specials and Oliver Stone films grew a little tedious. We didn't quite understand why you've never let those two go, why you'd speak so relentlessly about a better time.

But how could we have known? We were raised under Ronald Reagan, smiling emptily under a shellacked cap of shiny brown hair like a demon clown, warning us (With a knowing nod! With a wink!) about those evil Russians stockpiling nuclear arms thousands of miles away. We were raised by "The Love Boat" and "Eight Is Enough" and "Charlie's Angels," a steady flow of saccharine tales with clunky morals. There were smiling families, hugging and learning important lessons on every channel, while at home, our parents threw dishes at each other's heads. We went to church and learned about God's divine plan every Sunday, but all it took was one Dr. Seuss cartoon about an entire world that existed on a speck of dust, and our belief in God was deconstructed in an instant. Our childhoods were one long existential crisis. We ate Happy Meals while watching the space shuttle blow into tiny bits.

You and all your boomer friends read "I'm OK, You're OK," and tried desperately to avoid the mistakes of your parents, those stoic alcoholics of the so-called Greatest Generation. But you couldn't quite put your ideals into motion. As our parents, you told us to tell you anything, to be honest, to come to you with our problems, but when we did, you were uncomfortable and dismissive. You didn't really want to know how we felt. When we were emotional, you flashed back to that time your drunk mother threw the jack-o'-lantern into the street. You loved us, but you were passive-aggressive and avoidant in spite of your best intentions.

You did your best. But we rose out of that murky soup of love and confusion, of stated beliefs without the actions to back them up, and we grew cynical. We doubted even the most heartfelt, genuine statements. We didn't want to be blind to our own faults, like you were, so we paraded our faults around, exalted in our shortcomings. The worst thing, to us, was to not see ourselves clearly. The worst thing was to not be in on the joke.

So we cast a jaded eye on ourselves and each other. We drank too much and listened to obscure indie rock bands. We dressed badly and communicated in four-letter words and read books like "Infinite Jest" and "The Corrections," modern-day versions of your precious J.D. Salinger in which everyone is a fake and the high capitalist world is bought and sold and even the purest form of art is a commodity, not to be taken seriously. No one can be trusted, nothing is pure -- these are the truths we held to be self-evident.

No, we weren't always ready to get involved and make the world a better place, because the air we breathed was toxic with absurdity and excess. Consider our head-spinning trajectory: Mister Rogers, Son of Sam, the Iran hostage crisis, Catholic school, the Hite Report, "The Day After," Edwin Meese, rampant divorce, "Fantasy Island," "Endless Love," Jeffrey Dahmer, the Happy Meal, the Lockerbie air disaster, Toyotathons, John Updike, "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire?" Do you see how far we had to come? How we were primed to hate our own country, and ourselves along with it?

And then most of us became mature, rational adults at the exact moment that a reckless frat boy boomer became our president. Just when we were starting to understand how to be a part of the larger world outside, Al Gore had the election stolen right out of his hands in Florida, and then the twin towers collapsed before our eyes. At first we felt moved to act for the greater good in the wake of that tragedy. But then the whole country seemed to implode in front of us, from our invasion of two sovereign nations to the rise of celebrity culture to tanning beds to McMansions to Guantánamo Bay to Hummers and a big, faceless herd of humans in low-rider ass pants, chattering about whether or not to get Botox. It was so sad and pathetic that it was funny to us, even if it was only sad and pathetic to you. We urged you to get a sense of humor; we'd lived this way for years, after all. Things were much worse now, worse than ever -- but we'd always expected that they would be, eventually. That's one of the few rewards of being deeply pessimistic, of being trained to lower our expectations, of living in a constant state of distrust and learned helplessness.

But on Tuesday night, that changed. We understood, for the first time in our lives, what it means to be a part of something big, without reservation. We saw the joy in that. We knew that history had been made, and we were happy to have made calls and sent money and knocked on doors for this man. We felt like we were really, truly participants in history, that we had a connection to those people in the crowd at Grant Park and those kids crying and celebrating in Compton on the local news. We were all Americans, together, old and young, black and white and Latino and Asian, and it didn't feel hokey or overly earnest to admit it for once.

So we apologize to you, for making fun of your earnestness. We never want to go back to our old way of thinking. Sure, we'll still be our irreverent, self-deprecating, exasperating selves, but we also want to believe. We want to follow this man, and trust him, and give him our full support. The world may not be transformed overnight, the economy may still struggle, Obama will surely make his share of mistakes. But we want to stand behind him, stand behind this country, and show our fellow Americans the same respect that this new leader of ours has shown all of us, in his words, in his manner and in his promises.

On Tuesday night, we could all sense, with open hearts, that this man meant what he said. There's no shame in seeing that clearly, together. There's no shame in trusting someone's words, and allowing those words to move and inspire you. There's no shame in throwing ourselves into this new future with full hearts, with tears in our eyes, unselfconsciously.

And in 15 years, our kids probably won't understand it when we talk about the night that Obama was elected president, either. They'll sigh deeply and roll their eyes and say they've heard this story a million times before, so please shut up about it already. They'll purse their lips and think about how our hair looks stupid and we smell like old cheese.

But maybe, just maybe, we can change the world enough that they'll get it. Maybe if we dare to hope, eventually hope won't feel quite so daring.

Fucking brilliant.

With hope,
Chris

PS: I've deleted five LJ icons re: Bush and cynicism. It's time.

From: [identity profile] silk-noir.livejournal.com


Hmph.

Though I grew up with Love Boat, Charlie's Angels, and MASH reruns, I sure as hell wasn't raised by boomers.

But I'm sure my kid thinks I smell like old cheese anyway.

From: [identity profile] minnehaha.livejournal.com


Maybe you're one of the in-betweeners, who fit some profiles of one generation and some of another? That'd be me.

K.

From: [identity profile] rougewench.livejournal.com


This is me as well. Youngest child born of older parents. Born right at the end of the Baby Boom or the beginning of Gen-X depending on who's making the call.


D.

From: [identity profile] minnehaha.livejournal.com


So were mine. It's been said of their generation that they grew up having their noses rubbed in the fact that they knew who had won "the big one" and it wasn't them.

I'm young enough to remember the 60s, but I was a little kid. All the generational hype doesn't really fit me.

K.

From: [identity profile] mckitterick.livejournal.com


Would you say that your growing-up experience was more Boomer-esque or Gen-Xey? I can see how you might have gotten the benefits of both... but it might also mean you got the negatives of both without being able to identify with either.

From: [identity profile] siro-gravity.livejournal.com


this is a beautiful piece of writing.
you know, i fall in the cracks, time wise. i'm too young to have been a an active part of the 60's, and too old to be a gen-x'er. i've always FELT more like a gen-x'er.
ah, what do the labels mean?
i'm glad you finally deleted those icons!
for myself, this is the first time i've ever had political icons. because it is the first time i've ever identified in any way with any political figure.

with much hope!
smith


From: [identity profile] mckitterick.livejournal.com


Here's the Wiki article on Generation X, with info and links to the other American generations. Seems I'm barely an Xer by year-measurement, but defintiely so based on parentage.

But you're right: Labels and definitions are only boxes and words. But words help us frame and understand things. They have power and truth. Even though they mean nothing in themselves, we grant them meaning, they resonate in our minds, creating worlds as we come to understand.

That's why we define and label: We feel the magic of words.

From: [identity profile] siro-gravity.livejournal.com


according to this page i am definitely a boomer. kinda pisses me off that i did not get to be a hippie. it seems only fair!!

the funny thing with labels -i guess with all words- is how slippery they are. they're necessary; it's how we understand each other and our selves. but boy, they are tricky things...those worlds our words describe are all different enough to make meanings mutable.

words are powerful thangs.
there's no doubt about it.


From: [identity profile] geekmom.livejournal.com


I'm smack dab in the middle of Gen X no matter which way you count it. And this was the first time I voted for a president I liked instead of voting primarily against the person I didn't want to win.

From: [identity profile] mckitterick.livejournal.com


And yeah, it felt so good to rid myself of some of my negative icons. I still have some, just in case *g*

From: [identity profile] chernobylred.livejournal.com


You should think about checking out this book, by Jeff Gordinier. His stance is that GenX is roughly an age demographic, but it's more a state of mind.

From: [identity profile] siro-gravity.livejournal.com


thanks, chernobylred!
i will definitely check that out.

From: [identity profile] fortyozspartan.livejournal.com


My earliest political memory is the Gulf War... I remember having some kind of support the troops-type sticker on my desk in grade school.

From: [identity profile] mckitterick.livejournal.com


That war made a huge impact on me; I wrote a novel based on my response and hope to revise and pub it soon, as it's relevant again.

From: [identity profile] nkcmike.livejournal.com


Thanks for the link, Chris. That was powerful.

I'm one of those who grew up in the 60s and the decade still resonates very strongly with me. And, Tuesday night DID feel somewhat like a return to that era. Here's hoping the youth of today have found a cause to get behind.

From: [identity profile] mrissa.livejournal.com


Huh. I think that the cynicism of my end of Gen X (which is the tail end--people even two years younger than me are much more likely to be Millennials) is not from rolling our eyes at Boomers while we were teens but from watching Boomers roll their eyes at their former selves--from Boomer self-awareness, not lack of same. The Boomers who raised people my age weren't still smelling like Wavy Gravy--they were smelling like Chanel and talking about how when they were my age, they were just sure they were going to change the world, hahaha oh dear. And they flinched in open pain when my teenage self looked them in the eye and said, "Well, you did," and then looked around her to indicate what they'd changed it into.

There is nothing more provoking of teen cynicism than assuring teenagers that idealism is something they are supposed to have as a teenager--and grow out of as adults. It made us more likely to skip the middle step.

Early in this election when people were being suspicious of Obama's intelligence and charisma (oh God no, not that!), I asked several Boomers--who are people I love--why exactly it was that my generation was supposed to be the only one who never got to believe in anything without having people tell us how much it was going to suck. We know he's not going to be Jesus, Superman, and Hendrix rolled into one. But a competent politician sure looks good enough from here.

From: [identity profile] mckitterick.livejournal.com


Really good analysis of the Boomer generation. And I think you hit it right on the head with, "There is nothing more provoking of teen cynicism than assuring teenagers that idealism is something they are supposed to have as a teenager--and grow out of as adults. It made us more likely to skip the middle step."

I am all for competency in the Prez. At last.

From: [identity profile] politico08.livejournal.com

Obama is a member of Generation Jones


Interesting post and blog. Relevantly, many prominent experts and publications have pointed out that Obama is part of Generation Jones, born 1954-1965, between the Boomers and GenXers.

You may find this page interesting: it has, among other things, excerpts from publications like Newsweek and the New York Times, and videos with over 25 top pundits, all talking specifically about Obama’s identity as a GenJoneser:
http://www.generationjones.com/2008election.html


From: [identity profile] mckitterick.livejournal.com

Re: Obama is a member of Generation Jones


That's interesting - I hadn't heard of that generation before. Fits a lot of people I know better than X or Y or Boomer.

From: [identity profile] ericreynolds.livejournal.com


On election night during the middle of Obama's speech I texted Rose to tell her I had just had a JFK moment. She's Gen Y, but she understood. Obama transcends several generations: boomers, gen x, gen y. He represents the present and the future.

From: [identity profile] mckitterick.livejournal.com


Obama transcends several generations: boomers, gen x, gen y. He represents the present and the future.

Hear, hear!

From: [identity profile] jenx67.com (from livejournal.com)

Generation X News


I post regularly links to the Web's best Gen X news and blog posts. I'll be linking to this. There are many blog posts that all say the same thing. The dialogue is increasing and it is quite cathartic! I've turned up some equally amazing posts about Gen X.

From: [identity profile] theoneinblue.livejournal.com


Thanks for posting this - I'm at the far tail end of Gen-X, almost Gen Y, but this essay speaks to a lot of what I've been thinking through this election process. I wanted to believe, but was afraid to...and then Tuesday night. Wow.

.

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