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Not really up to writing a lot about it right now, but just got back from an impromptu trip to Omaha to see my mom. We're down to her last days.
My friends, Alzheimer's is a damned horrific nightmare. If I ever start looking down the barrels of that living hell, well... I wish we lived in a country where one could choose not to endure years of ever-increasing loss of self, health, and free will, knowing we cannot get better, certain that we will get worse, until one day we cannot remember our loved ones or even who we are. That, my friends, is the worst hell I can imagine. The only words Mom has formed in the past few weeks, and those were barely audible: "Have a headache."
Oof.
My friends, Alzheimer's is a damned horrific nightmare. If I ever start looking down the barrels of that living hell, well... I wish we lived in a country where one could choose not to endure years of ever-increasing loss of self, health, and free will, knowing we cannot get better, certain that we will get worse, until one day we cannot remember our loved ones or even who we are. That, my friends, is the worst hell I can imagine. The only words Mom has formed in the past few weeks, and those were barely audible: "Have a headache."
Oof.
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I am so sorry
Hugs!
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Re: I am so sorry
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I have always believed that the most awful truth of humanity is that we are kinder to our pets than to our relatives. With our pets we are both allowed to, and encouraged to, end suffering. Humanity's blinkered belief in "God" keeps us from doing the same for those closest to us.
May she find the door from this place sooner rather than later. You truly do have my deepest empathy.
D.
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(And make that a world where others don't decide when to terminate you, too.)
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A year ago this past weekend I sat with my grandmother as she passed out of this world after her battle with this viscous disease. I know that nothing any of us says will offer you any comfort. Just know that her suffering will end, and while it might not make you feel better, it will hopefully bring you at least a little peace and or relief. I hope you find the strength to make it through what is to come. My thoughts will be with you and your family.
A.
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