that honey-in-the-eye thang? and others? an explanation

[mckitterick]

Okay, youse folks made me snork a sinus reading your discussions. I hate to explain on account of lending realism could be a buzzkill, but here it is:

Kij got herself some o' that thar pink-eye. Seeing as how we don't have health insurance for another month or two, she didn't want to spend the money to cure it. We spoke with Ellen Klages at World Fantasy about this, and she said, "Just put honey in your eye."

We laughed and mocked of course, but her experience tells her it cures pink-eye. "Seriously. Honey. In your eye." (It's a strong antibiotic, you see.)

Okay, so when you're suffering you'll try anything. I got a bottle of honey from the Tempe Mission Palms, and she snipped the heads off some Q-Tips and dripped the honey into her eyes. Then followed howling and gnashing of teeth etc. Six times the first day. And her eyes indeed lost their vampiric glow.

So, being paranoid about catching this myself, I thought, "Well, it worked for her. Should be prophylactic for me."

I might insert here that I have very sensitive eyes. For example, I can't wear contacts. If Kij suffered - and I'm a wuss compared to her steely pain resistance - I would nearly die.

Kij describes watching my experience as "a blind, enraged rhino trying to kill whatever is near it." Well, not quite. But after the first few minutes of acid-laserblast-explosion in my eyeballs, I did find myself covered in sweet tears on the floor, gripping the hand-rail in white knuckles.

And of course I had to do it a couple more times for full effect.

Thank you so much Kij for this lil' illness, and thank you Ellen for the torture remedy.

Chris