Christopher McKitterick

So I managed to drop my Katana phone through the wood decking of the patio at Henry's last night. Nobody could quite reach it through the narrow slots where it lay half-buried in the molten goo, so I zipped back there this morning armed with a flexible-extendible-clampy-snake-thingy:

Success! I got this device from Working Assets Long Distance (the liberal-leaning phone company now known as CREDO Mobile (which seems to be having a switch deal right now) when it was hot stuff, back in 2006, I think it was. Since then, it has gone through the washer and dryer; sat overnight at the bottom of a frozen puddle; taken several dives into lakes, fountains, and so forth; crashed with me on a motorcycle; and been dropped countless times onto the floor. I've dropped it while scootering and driven over it at least once with a car. How would you feel after such abuse? Check it out:


Yes, I posed the camera on my heavy bag. Seems appropriate for an old fighter who keeps on doing its thing battle after battle. No, the photo isn't blurry; the phone really is that scratched up.

Despite all this, the thing still works great... except for how it occasionally doesn't ring, and the anticipatory-typing thing only works with words you've already entered, and... okay, it's ancient and kinda crappy, and now it bears new battle-scars and smells of old, wet, beer-ey cigarette ashes. I must admit that I've been thinking of joining the Smart Phone Generation. Heck, I bet there are kids out there who've never even seen a flip-phone.

But after all it's been through, I can't bear to toss it aside! And the butt-dialing... as much fun as that can be (I'm looking at you, Matt J, who accidentally serenaded me last week), I don't look forward to an exposed screen on a device that I carry everywhere. I mean, look at this thing! Would a smart phone survive all that?

Yesterday, I was ready to ditch the thing. Now it's earned a reprieve. Perhaps I'll be like those crusty old reporters who refuse to give up their Royal Portable typewriters, obstinately carrying around my trusty blue Katana deep into the 21st century.

Chris

I have a super-power. Mine isn't the sort of thing you think of when you hear the term. It's not flying or invisibility or the ability to rearrange subatomic particles. My super-power can't be boiled down to a single word or a simple phrase. Nothing quite so grand, though I would like to believe it has saved many of my friends and family from pain and suffering.

My super-power is the ability to find bones, stones, fragments of metal, shards of glass, chunks of plastic, and so forth in my food.

"Sounds more like a super-weakness," you say. Well, consider it from this point of view: People who go out to eat with me have a much lower chance of finding said junk in their food. I figure that, although it could be seen as a super-weakness from my point of view, if I instead view this as a service super-power, I'm helping save the teeth of people everywhere.

Those of you who have dined with me know what I'm talking about. Some have argued that I find so much stuff in my food only because I chew so thoroughly and bite down rather more firmly than most gourmands. Granted. But how many of you have bitten down on part of a blender in your McDonald's soft-serve ice cream? Or a half-inch piece of a steel measuring cup in your gumbo? Or what appears to be a cube of tempered glass from a shattered windshield in your pasta? Or pea-sized stones in your salad? Seriously, I find something that doesn't belong in my meals - especially in restaurants - almost every time I dine out with people. I am not exaggerating.

I'm posting this now because I just found... an unidentifiable thing in my pasta. It would not give under great biting pressure. Looks like a pebble.

So: What's your super-power? (Super-weaknesses accepted.)

EDIT: Ooh, and what's your superhero name?

Chris